


Baby, I'm Howlin' For You

by popkin16



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Angst, First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-03-25 03:00:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13825071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popkin16/pseuds/popkin16
Summary: Lone wolf Rodney McKay only has three rules:• Never take a contracting job that lasts longer than 4 months• Avoid the local pack• Don't get comfortable.This was supposed to be a job like any other. But Rodney hadn't known to factor in John Sheppard.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Credit and extreme gratitude go to [melagan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melagan/pseuds/melagan) and [respoftw](http://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw) for looking this over. This chapter would be much poorer without their hard work in whipping it into shape. Though rated explicit, there won't be sex any time soon. Tags will be updated as the fic progresses.
> 
> This fic is dedicated to my fellow McShep shippers.
> 
> Title from [a song of the same name](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF6-J5BCxWM) by The Black Keys.

Rodney knew they weren't heading for the heart of the alpha's territory - inviting an unknown werewolf into the den was the height of stupidity and went against every instinct known to werewolf kind - but he had to admit it certainly _felt_ that way, given how deep into the forest they've already walked. Rodney followed the wolf ahead of him, tucking his shaking hands into his jacket pocket. He didn't bother kidding himself that it was from the cold.

This was always the worst part.

It was a clear night, with bright stars and a first quarter moon. The woods were quiet except for the sound of their steps, snapping sticks as they went; and the sound of the wind, rustling in the leaves. Rodney's foot caught a downed branch and he stumbled forward, catching himself on the rough bark of a nearby tree, scraping his hand. The Were in front of Rodney glanced back at him, eyes bright and suspicious. Rodney smiled weakly at him as he tucked his hands back into his pockets. He was in human form, around Rodney's height, dark skinned and aggressive. One of the pack's fighters, no doubt, and the only one Rodney had interacted with so far. Rodney hoped he wasn't an average example of the Atlantis pack, or Rodney would be denied access to the area.

Another ten minutes of walking, and Rodney was contemplating the likelihood of getting his throat ripped out if he asked how much further when a small spot of light appeared between the trees ahead. Voices drifted over, slowly growing more distinct the closer they drew. Rodney's mouth watered at the scent of cooking meat. How nice would it be, he wondered, to settle on a log in front of the fire, with delicious food in hand and congenial company at his side? It was the sort of warm, inviting image they liked to encourage humans to picture when they thought of wolves. Rodney liked it too, even if he knew it would never be for him.

They reached the edge of the clearing. "Wait here," his escort snapped before continuing on. Rodney lurked awkwardly, well aware of the eyes on him. He stared into the fire, letting his eyes go unfocused. _Don't fidget_ , he reminded himself. His chin tilted up, exposing his throat, a move both defiant and submissive. Rodney deliberately ignored any conversations going on around him. His awkwardness increased in direct proportion to the seconds ticking by.

His escort approached with a tall, dreadlocked man following behind. Rodney went still. This man was _huge_. He looked vaguely annoyed. He smelled of impatience and curiosity. Rodney swallowed heavily and straightened his shoulders. His chin went higher, this time more for the sake of submission, all pretense of defiance gone.

"Alpha -" Rodney began, taking care to train his eyes on the man's chin and raise them no higher.

"What do you want?" the giant rumbled. He crossed his arms over his chest and glowered down at Rodney.

"I - I seek permission to, uh, live in your territory."

"You want to join the pack," he said flatly.

"God, no. Not that you don't have a lovely pack," Rodney added hastily, gesturing toward the clearing and all the Weres gathered there, "But I'm interested in a temporary arrangement, that's all. Atlantis has contracted me for a period of three months, and after that I'm moving on."

"Three months?" The Alpha asked suspiciously.

"Yes. Ninety days. Twelve weeks." Rodney wasn't sure how many different ways he could put it.

"Plenty of time to gather intel on our pack," Rodney's angry escort muttered.

"What?" Rodney said, surprised. "No no no. I'm not interested in your pack. I won't be poking around, asking questions. I won't try to ingratiate myself with members of the pack, or join any of your - your activities. I keep to myself. Home, work, the grocery store - maybe the movies if something interesting is released, but honestly nothing worthwhile has been made for quite some time. It's all superhero movies these days, which are fun but not really -"

"Do you ever shut up?" The Alpha asked, amused. Rodney snapped his mouth shut. The Alpha watched him for a moment, inscrutable and very large - and muscular, and scary, _jesus_ \- before tilting his head toward Rodney's escort.

"Get Zelenka," he ordered.

"But -"

"Bates."

Bates acquiesced with another heated glare toward Rodney, who gaped at him. Was he insane, arguing with his Alpha? Rodney had seen what came of that, and it was always bloody. He was relieved when Bates turned and stomped away, towards a crowd of people sitting on a fallen log. He didn't like the man, but he didn't want to see him get his throat ripped out either. To pass the time, Rodney examined the scrape on his hand, poking at it to make it sting. He noted with relief that it was already beginning to heal.

"Name?" The Alpha asked after a long, uncomfortable silence. Rodney twitched nervously. He licked his lips.

"Rodney McKay," he said finally, and his heart pounded like it always did when he exposed a piece of himself like that. _A necessary evil_ , he reminded himself.

"Ronon," an unfamiliar voice said, and the Alpha turned, dreadlocks swinging around his head. Rodney leaned over to peer around Ronon's intimidating form to see a short, bespectacled man with crazy hair standing beside Bates. He blinked wide eyes at Rodney before nodding.

"Yes, yes, it's him," the man said. "He looks just like the picture in the personnel file we received from Asuras." Rodney grimaced at the mention of his previous job. That company had been staffed by the creepiest scientists he'd ever had the displeasure to work with.

"Zelempo?" Rodney asked, as politely as he could.

"Zelenka," the man said, pointing at himself. Rodney waved at him and tried to commit it to memory.

Ronon turned back toward him. He gave Rodney a slow, careful once over, his gaze assessing and fierce, before giving a single, sharp nod. His arms dropped to his sides.

"Don't cause any trouble," he warned. "If we catch you in the woods, we'll gut you."

"Not a problem," Rodney promised. "You'll hardly notice I'm here."

Bates snorted disbelievingly.

"I will take him back to town," Zelenka offered. "I know what apartment he has been assigned."

Rodney's shoulders drooped with relief. A walk back in the dark with Bates hadn't sounded very appealing. He was half convinced he'd be murdered, his body dumped in the woods somewhere. Now that things were settled, Rodney wanted nothing more than a hot shower and some sleep.

"Would you like to do a nature run?" Zelenka asked. Bates made a protesting noise. Ronon was silent.

"No," Rodney responded immediately. Running through these woods in wolf form was too tempting. He hadn't changed in months, and doing so now would just be taunting him with what he couldn't have regularly. His skin ached with want but Rodney was used to not getting what he wanted. He'd live.

Zelenka shrugged carelessly. "Suit yourself. Follow me."

Rodney breathed a sigh of relief as they moved away from the clearing, the trees blocking him from those curious, prying eyes. Conversations started up again as they moved further away. Rodney's ears picked out Bates low voice -

"Shouldn't you have waited for -"

-just as Zelenka asked him about his belongings, drawing Rodney's attention away. The clearing disappeared into the dark, swallowed up by the trees, the noise and light and life of the pack out of sight, but not out of mind.

 

-WoOoOo-

Atlantis Corporation's headquarters were situated in a quiet town surrounded on three sides by woods. Most of the people who lived in town worked in the tall building that housed Atlantis' brightest minds, with the remaining population taking up the role of local business owners and city workers. So it was no surprise that by the time Rodney ventured out for breakfast the next morning, everyone knew about his arrival.

People nodded in greeting as he passed, their lack of surprise at seeing him making him uncomfortable. He was more comfortable going unnoticed, and the constant acknowledgement was making him twitchy. Thankfully there was a diner was not too far from his apartment, and the thought of food pushed away any anxiety he had over the local populace watching his every move. The bell over the door tinkled as Rodney entered, pausing just inside to let his eyes adjust.

The diner was quiet and clean, with a long counter stretching the length of it. A young man in what smelled like yesterday's clothing leaned against the counter, one hand pressed to his face. Further away, an elderly woman sat alone at one of the booths, reading glasses perched on the edge of her nose.

Rodney took a seat as far from the both of them as possible. He placed his order with the tired looking waitress and turned his laptop on. A town this out of the way probably didn't get many visitors, and he'd rather make it clear he wasn't open for conversation by looking busy. Rule number one: do not engage the locals.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, Teer," someone said, and the booth shook a little as someone took the seat opposite him.

"Hello," Rodney said pointedly, glancing up from his laptop. He ostentatiously rustled the papers spread across the booth, hoping the man would get the hint.

"Hey," the man greeted, smiling. He ran a hand through his wild hair, and it was then that Rodney smelled him: werewolf. He stiffened, wondering if this was going to be some sort of subtle threat.

"I'm John," the man - John - introduced. He tilted his head, and his sharp eyes gave Rodney a once over. They were uncommonly pretty eyes, he noted.

"Rodney. Dr. McKay, that is."

"Nice to meet you."

There was a long pause. Rodney kept his eyes trained on his laptop. Was John looking at him? Should he make conversation or try to look busy? Heat warmed Rodney's cheeks and he squirmed a little. Rodney _hated_ small talk. He peeked over the top of his laptop. John _was_ looking at him, still looking handsome and pleasant. _It's a trap_ , Rodney's brain whispered, and he shook it to dissolve images of humanoid fish.

"If I'm bothering you, I can move," Rodney muttered reluctantly, resentfully. He'd been here first, after all. There were plenty of places left to sit. But he'd promised to stay out of pack business, and sitting here with a Were was making him nervous. It wasn't uncommon for him to be watched when working in a new city, but they usually kept their distance.

"Nah, this is fine," John drawled.

"Of course it is," Rodney sighed. He turned his attention back to his laptop, and after several more minutes of feeling self-conscious, he sunk back into the reports and equations Zelenka had sent to him upon acceptance of the job offer. Their ideas for a new, efficient source of energy were interesting - and sorely needed - and while their foundation was good, some of the theories for the more advanced plans needed a lot of work.

Rodney's ears caught the sound of approaching footsteps - the waitress, arriving with their food. With no other choice, Rodney packed away his papers, closed his laptop, and stuffed everything into his bag. The table now cleared, the waitress set Rodney's order in front of him, and John's food - which Rodney didn't remember hearing him order - on the other side of the table.

They ate in silence, with Rodney carefully avoiding John's eyes. He ate as fast as he could without making it too obvious, and was finished well before John had cleared half his plate.

"Quite an appetite you got there," John said, looking wide eyed and a little disgusted. Rodney shrugged and put enough money down to cover both their meals. Leaning over, he grabbed his bag and slipped his head under the strap.

"I like food," he replied inanely. Unsure how to exit gracefully, he added, "Thanks for the company."

The door jingled as he left.

Atlantis' research building was within walking distance. He didn't have a work ID card to grant him access to the labs, so he had to wait - impatiently - in the lobby for Zelenka to escort him through. The first half of Rodney's day was taken up by useless bureaucracy - filling out paperwork, having his picture taken for his ID, getting a tour of the place. By the time he settled in at his desk, it was past lunch and his stomach was making pained, hungry noises. Rodney had expected this, however, and had packed some to-go food, such as energy bars and chips. Satisfied he wouldn't have to leave the lab until after dinner, Rodney ducked his head and got to work.

 

-WoOoOo-

John was sitting in the same seat from that morning. Rodney briefly considered sitting elsewhere, but he had a feeling John would move to join him. Resigned to having a babysitter whenever he was outside his apartment, Rodney settled in on the opposite side of the booth. He waited for John to say something, to ask why he'd sat here when there were plenty of other empty seats, or to indicate approval that Rodney had joined him. John simply quirked an eyebrow at him and took another sip of his coffee. Unaccountably annoyed at the lack of response, Rodney pulled out his tablet and poked at it.

The fatigue of a day's hard work kept Rodney from feeling awkward in John's presence. He placed his order with only one reminder of his citrus allergy and relaxed back into his seat. Rodney tried to pick up where he'd left off on his work, but his brain wasn't allowing him to focus. Instead, his attention kept shifting to the Were across the table. He didn't _seem_ to be paying any attention to Rodney at all, but something in him said otherwise.

"Have a good day?" John asked mildly when Rodney set aside his tablet. He closed the book of Sudoku puzzles he'd been filling out with intriguing ease. His gaze flicked up to meet Rodney's.

"Surprisingly, yes," Rodney replied, lowering his eyes to the table between them.

"Why surprisingly?"

"Most people are morons that are, at best, a trial to deal with. But Zelenka's put together a competent team, it seems." Rodney said. "Of course, if they _did_ make a mistake, it's not my job to correct them, so perhaps I'm seeing the best of them."

"I'm glad you're enjoying your work, Rodney," John said. It was startling, hearing his name from a stranger.

The conversation stalled there. Rodney felt more alert now, and with it returned the awkwardness of not knowing what to say. He fidgeted while searching for a safe topic to end the silence. He grabbed a napkin and began to shred it.

"How, uh, how was your day? What is it you do?" Rodney blurted, gesturing at John's lanky form, slouched over in his seat. John smiled, looking a little amused.

"I teach math at the local high school." John scratched idly at his neck.

"What? Really?" Rodney leaned forward, interested despite himself. John didn't look like any math teacher he'd ever seen. He was good looking, for one. Though, now that Rodney was not avoiding looking in John's direction, he noticed that he _did_ have a briefcase on the seat next to him. "What do you teach? Are you as despairing of the future of scientists everywhere as I am?"

"Some days," John admitted with a grin. "But they're good kids."

"So you have your teaching degree? Did you minor in math?"

"Majored, actually," John smirked.

"What? You - how far did you go?" Rodney demanded to know. He tried to adopt John's casual attitude - leaning back in his seat, trying to slow his usual frenetic way of speaking. He couldn't bring himself to stop shredding the napkin, however. _Stupid_ , he admonished himself, even as he waited for John to reply. _Don't get invested_.

"I've got my masters," John said finally. He raised an eyebrow at Rodney's sputtering, looking smug. Before Rodney could interrogate him further, their food arrived. The smell was enticing, and Rodney's stomach rumbled loudly. He ignored John's chuckle as he dug in happily, moaning at the perfectly done burger. Behind him, the bells over the entrance door jingled merrily.

It was just his luck that John had taken the side of the table that faced the door. Rodney stuffed a handful of fries in his mouth and tried to glance casually over his shoulder to see who had just entered. It was two men, one dark haired and around Rodney's age, the other older, with messy hair and glasses. They were glancing around in excitement, the younger man gesturing wildly as he spoke to the hostess. Her gaze flicked Rodney's way and the food caught in Rodney's throat as they followed her glance. Were they here for Rodney?

They made their way over, looking harmless and full of smiles. Rodney slowly twisted in his seat to face John. He felt lightheaded and a little panicked. John's brow furrowed in concern as he looked at Rodney. Rodney wondered what his face was doing to make John look so alarmed, but before he could say anything, the two men were at their table.

"Hello! I'm Dr. Felger and this is Dr. Coombs," the young man introduced them both, gesturing toward the older man who stood next to him. He beamed at both Rodney and John.. Rodney inched away.

"What can we do for you?" John asked, voice polite and distant.

"How kind of you to ask!" Felger said joyfully, forcing himself into the space Rodney had unintentionally left when he'd scooted over. He appeared oblivious to Rodney's discomfort and continued. "We were in the area when we heard this town had a high concentration of werewolves, and such an opportunity cannot be missed."

"Oh god," Rodney said, voice thick with dread.

"So we've come to ask some questions - for science, of course."

"What do you have your doctorate in?" John asked, raising an eyebrow inquiringly.

"Oh, physics."

"And yet you come here asking questions about...Weres." John said dryly.

"Yes, yes! I've been fascinated by wolves since I was very young. I've read all the literature, seen all the movies -"

"Movies," Rodney groaned despairingly.

-" watched countless documentaries -"

Rodney couldn't listen to this anymore. "Which were no doubt made without consulting any werewolf at all! Do you _know_ how often you humans get it wrong? Spreading misconceptions, asking invasive questions!"

John's eyebrows raised high enough to disappear into the fringe of his bangs. He sat back and let Rodney continue, tilting his head to listen. He looked, once again, amused at Rodney's expense. Rodney knew he should stop, should send these two idiots on their way - he'd made it his life's mission to go unnoticed, after all. But humans repeatedly asking the same ignorant questions about werewolves never failed to set Rodney's teeth on edge.

"Start here: werewolves are not wolves. We're human _and_ wolf, something that's both and yet neither. We're a whole other species. Yes, we know wolves don't have a pack hierarchy like werewolves do. Maybe because - are you listening? Please remember this, we're tired of repeating it - _we're not wolves_. We're not a wild animal, hungering for human flesh on the night of a full moon. We just want to live our lives without morons stopping by to ask stupid questions we've had to answer all our lives."

"We meant no -

"- no harm or disrespect, yes, I know. You people never do," Rodney said tiredly. "I know much hasn't been written in scientific journals about werewolves, but maybe do a little online research. There are several popular blogs written by actual Weres who try to explain this stuff in small enough doses that even the slowest among you can remember."

Felger and Coombs had turned red now, sputtering and apologizing. Fudger stood up from the seat he had taken and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes as he backed away. He nearly tripped over his friend, who steadied him with one hand under his elbow. They ran for the door, which jingled happily again, and then they were gone. The diner was silent in their wake, still, until someone began to clap. After a moment, everyone else joined in. Rodney turned to find John grinning at him. His face warming, Rodney hunched down in his seat and tried to look busy eating.

"Well said," John complimented when the clapping had died down. There was no real reason for it, but happiness unfolded in Rodney's chest anyway.

"Yes, well, they had it coming," Rodney grumbled. He shot John a quick glance. "Perhaps we should print out pamphlets to hand out every time a human asks us about our mating habits."

Rodney looked up, startled, when John began to laugh. It was loud and almost painful to listen to, but it made his eyes crinkle and his face light up. Rodney took another bite of his meatloaf so he wouldn't join in, even if John _could_ smell his amusement.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to buffycuddlespigs, who beta'd this for me AND is the literal best. She encouraged me when I was suffering from tons of doubt and this chapter languished as a result. Any remaining mistakes are my own!

"Do you ever sleep?" John asked, following Rodney through the grocery story. They had run into each other in the junk food aisle during Rodney's late night, post-work visit. Rodney had rolled his eyes at John's sardonic, "What a coincidence!" and had reluctantly agreed to let John accompany him around the store - and probably home. This pack certainly took their surveillance duties more seriously than any other pack Rodney had interacted with. Still, John's company wasn't totally abhorrent, and he was at least easy on the eyes.

"Not if I can help it," Rodney said. He grabbed two bags of cheetos and threw them in the cart. John threw in a box of popcorn, but only shrugged at Rodney's look. With a sigh, Rodney resigned himself to letting John into his apartment. He picked up a couple of extra meat lovers pizzas, enough for two hungry Weres, and another package of steaks.

"Shouldn't _you_ be sleeping?" Rodney asked finally. "Don't you have class tomorrow morning?"

John smirked, "It's summer vacation, Rodney."

"It's a nice night out. Shouldn't you be out with your pack?" The breeze outside had felt wonderful on Rodney's human skin on the walk here. He could almost imagine how it'd feel on his fur, what sort of intriguing scents it'd carry with it. Running outside had to be a more pleasant prospect than following him around a grocery store.

"I'll meet up with them later," John said, casually. He shot Rodney a sideways glance. He looked as though he were waiting for some response, but Rodney had none to give. Rodney automatically dropped his gaze to John's nose to avoid meeting his eyes. _John will probably join his pack as soon as I've been returned safely home_ , Rodney told himself. He'd feed him and then be left alone.

Satisfied with how his night would be proceeding, Rodney gathered the rest of his food purchases and made his way to a checkout lane. The cashier clearly recognized John and struck up a conversation. Rodney waited impatiently for his items to be rung up, rolling his eyes at the blatant flirting before him. Before Rodney could pay, John offered his membership card to the cashier, who brushed her fingers against John's when taking it.

"That'll be eight dollars off your total," she said perkily. Rodney paid in exact cash, grabbed his bags, and rushed for the door. He sighed happily once he was outside in the cool air, well aware of John's presence at his back.

"You're welcome," John said pointedly, his long legs moving him from behind Rodney to his side.

"Yes, thank you. It's not as though half of these groceries aren't intended for you anyway," Rodney grumbled.

"Aw, c'mon, Rodney," John drawled. "It's not as though you _really_ mind."

Damn werewolf senses. Rodney tried to muster up some true annoyance, but honestly, it was kind of nice to have some companionship. Not that they'd ever be true friends. John was hanging around only to keep an eye on him and Rodney had too many secrets to let anyone close. Rodney shook his head, a tiny smile quirking the corner of his mouth.  


-WoOoOo-

John held the bags as Rodney unlocked his apartment door. He felt a momentary embarrassment at the lack of decorations, but reminded himself that it'd be pointless to buy things for an apartment he wasn't going to keep. He was pretty much living out of his bags, as John no doubt noticed when he snooped through the living room and into the single bedroom. He didn't say anything when he met up with Rodney in the kitchen, merely helped put the food away.

Knowing that John had places to be, Rodney immediately began to set up to cook dinner. John opened the kitchen window to let in the outside smells as Rodney unpacked the steaks. He glanced at John as he worked, who was staring, unblinkingly, out the window.

"You could just go," Rodney said, the silence weighing him down.

John turned those unblinking eyes his way. He gaze dropped to Rodney's hands as he cut vegetables for the salad, but he didn't reply. Rodney hadn't been lying when he'd told that idiot from the diner that Weres _weren't_ wolves, but that didn't mean there weren't times when their more primal instincts shouted louder than common sense. John's pack was out there. It was a nice night. Every inch of him was probably yearning to strip and go for a run.

Quietly, "Why don't you have a pack?"

Rodney's movements stopped abruptly. The meat sizzled on the pan. The sound of crickets chirping drifted in from the window. Rodney had been asked this question many times, in many cities, and without thought he said what he always did:

"I don't need one."

John's eyes were bright and fierce when they met Rodney's, even as his face stayed blank. John leaned forward. Rodney stared at his hands.

"That's not really an answer."

"Does it matter?" Rodney asked evasively. He finished chopping the few remaining vegetables and dumped them all into a bowl with the lettuce. "I'll be gone soon enough. You'll never see me again."

John rumbled deep in his chest with frustration. His eyes seemed to glow and his tone grew firmer. "Rodney. Why don't you have a pack? Nobody _likes_ to be alone. Not even humans."

Rodney's jaw worked. "I left them."

"Why?"

For the first time, Rodney met John's eyes. His heart pounded and his breath sounded loud in his ears. "That's none of your business."

Taken aback by Rodney's audacity, John didn't reply right away. He watched as Rodney checked on the baked potatoes and then pulled them from the oven. When Rodney turned around, John gave him a small smile.

"Fair enough."

John let the subject drop, for which Rodney was grateful. The smell of food seemed to bring John back from that half-wild mindset he'd fallen into while listening and smelling the night air. Things settled back to their distant, comfortable way of interacting, and by the time John left, Rodney was feeling almost cheerful.

He still closed the window before he went to bed.  


-WoOoOo-

"It is Friday," Radek commented idly from in front of the computer running the simulation. A few feet away, Rodney stood before a whiteboard, holding a marker in his right hand. His thumb rubbed against his bottom lip as he looked over the numbers. It was just past lunch and the lab was quiet as everyone worked diligently at their computer screens. Radek and Rodney were in their own corner of the lab, some distance away from the others. Rodney had been pleased when he was invited to share space with Radek, who was head scientist.

"Mmmhmm," Rodney hummed. Perhaps it was time for him to step back from the board and take a break? But Rodney hated doing that. He just needs to find that _one mistake_...

"It will be nice outside," Radek continued. "Sunny. Warm."

"Good weather comes with bees and sunburns and all manner of unpleasant things," Rodney said absently. He snapped his fingers and pointed at the whiteboard with his free hand. "AHA. Found the error, you little…"

Radek sighed.

Rodney used the side of his hand to wipe the scrawled numbers and began to rewrite the equation, the marker squeaking against the board. He finished the equation with a flourish and turned to beam smugly at Radek. It faltered slightly when Radek only stared expectantly back at him. Behind him, his computer simulation finished and the results popped up.

Radek saved the results, readjusted the parameters, and said, "I am asking if you want to go see a movie this weekend."

"No," Rodney said reflexively. He blinked, startled. "You want to see a movie with me?"

"That is what I have said," Radek said patiently.

"Look, you're a nice guy, but I'm not interested in you in that way. You're not my type."

"As friends," Radek said, looking pained. "You stay cooped up in lab or in apartment all week. I am merely trying to show you a world exists beyond a computer screen."

"Oh." Rodney fidgeted with the marker he still held. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

Radek looked thoughtful. After a long, weighty pause, he looked at Rodney with sad eyes. "I do not know why you are so determined to avoid connections and putting down roots. But surely it cannot hurt to make a friend while you are here?"

"Maybe," Rodney said. "But why chance it?"

"Why not chance it?" Radek countered. "At least consider it. This is not a pack activity. Me, you, maybe a couple other people from work, no more."

"I'll think about it," Rodney sighed. He rubbed his forehead with one hand. "You know, in every other city I've been to, the pack ignored me. I didn't have bothersome babysitters or wannabe friends."

Radek ducked his head to hide his smile. "We have never done things as other packs do."

"Clearly," Rodney said sourly. But he knew he smelled of happiness anyway.  


-WoOoOo-

The last thing Rodney expected was to wake up early on Saturday morning to Ronon Dex at his door. He loomed larger than Rodney remembered, but the intimidation was the same. Rodney stumbled backward in his pre-coffee haze and muttered, "Oh, jesus." He made a feeble gesture to welcome him inside and lumbered to the kitchen to watch the coffee maker do its magic with fervent, sleepy-eyed intensity. He heard the front door close behind him and the heavy footsteps that meandered his way.

He glanced over his shoulder to find Ronon leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his massive chest.

"Morning," Rodney said through a yawn. "I'd offer you coffee, but I'm going to need this entire pot just to be coherent."

Ronon grunted. When the coffee was done, Rodney grabbed his super large mug and filled it to the brim. He slumped into a chair at the kitchen table and sipped at it, moaning at the taste, at the feeling of caffeine hitting his bloodstream. Ronon loomed patiently, his form looking too big for Rodney's small apartment. It made Rodney twitchy, being in the room with him. Like a mouse with a cat that's ready to pounce.

"If this is about going to the movies with Zelenka tomorrow," Rodney muttered, "I tried to tell him no." Rodney peered blearily at Ronon for a reaction, but the other Were remained impassive. Rodney gave the air a quick sniff to see if he could smell anything, but all he could pick up was coffee and a sense of amusement. Satisfied that he wasn't going to be mauled any time soon, Rodney took the time to savor his coffee.

"I only have throw away cups, but you can help yourself to anything I have as long as it's not the coffee," Rodney offered, pointing at a cupboard beside the sink. Ronon pushed off from the doorway and sauntered over to grab a cup and fill it with water. Rodney watched as Ronon drained the cup and filled it once more. Sipping it, he slumped into a seat across the table from Rodney.

"What can I do for you, Alpha?"

It was hard not to call him Ronon. It was how Radek and John referred to him, and Rodney had begun to think of him that way as well, even if he didn't have the right.

"Teyla's back in town," the giant Were said nonsensically. He rested a bent arm on the table and leaned his head against his hand. The pose looked almost childish in nature, and for the first time Rodney noticed just how _young_ this Were was.

"Yes?" Rodney asked, blinking. "Uh, good?"

Ronon grinned. His teeth were bright against his beard. Rodney leaned away. He picked up his coffee cup and took a long sip, eyeing Ronon over the rim. When Ronon didn't continue, Rodney set his cup down and waved a hand impatiently.

"And? Therefore? Who is Teyla? What does this news have to do with me?"

Ronon's grin widened. Had his teeth grown pointier? Yes, his canines were slightly longer. Rodney dropped his eyes to Ronon's chin and tilted his head, exposing one side of his neck. Ronon snorted in response.

"She's our emissary," Ronon explained.

"Oh. _Oh_."

Well, that made sense. Emissaries were powerful, trained diplomats. Usually only bigger packs had them, but it wasn't unheard for a smaller pack to utilize one. They represented the pack to human officials, to other packs. Emissaries were the closest to nature, bar an Alpha, and because of it were able to call on abilities nobody else had. One meeting with Rodney and she'd know if he had ill intentions. Rodney broke out in a panicked sweat. She'd know if Rodney lied to her, and if she asked certain questions...worst case scenarios ran through Rodney's mind. They could turn him over to the last person he wanted to see. They could run him out of town before this job was up, and he needed the money.

"Well," Rodney said, weakly. "Hooray."

Rodney's stomach was a mess due to nerves, but he dutifully finished his coffee before going for a quick shower. The smell of his distress would lessen somewhat once buried under shampoo, body wash, and deodorant. Though it was impossible to hide anything from an Alpha….

Ronon was eating an apple from god knows where when Rodney stepped into the kitchen. Rodney grabbed his laptop case, checked to make sure he had his phone, and then followed Ronon out the door. He paused a moment, debating whether or not to lock his door. His grip tightened on his laptop case and he decided against locking the door. All his vital, sensitive information was with him. Let them sniff through his things.

Rodney missed the last step outside when he saw the car parked next to his: a police cruiser. Ronon grabbed him by the back of his collar and hauled him upright as Rodney gaped. He turned wide eyes to Ronon.

"You - you're - " Rodney stuttered.

"Yep," Ronon confirmed, and dragged him over. He opened the passenger side door and shoved Rodney in. Rodney's affronted, "Hey!" At the rough treatment was covered by the slam of the door. He supposed he should be grateful he wasn't forced to ride in the back. Ronon folded his long body into the car - Rodney side eying him appreciatively - and pulled out of the parking lot. Rodney wished he'd been allowed to take his car, so he'd have a way to escape if necessary, but he didn't know where this meeting was taking place.

It was interesting being in a cop car. There was a laptop open between the seats, and the center console was full of buttons. He sipped his coffee and tried not to feel like he was heading to jail, but the nerves and sense of impending doom were making his stomach feel tight.

They drove through the center of town, past a suburb. The distance between houses grew longer the farther they drove; small yards giving way to forests. When they finally turned onto a dirt driveway, Rodney's nerves had been stretched to the breaking point. He let out a long breath as the large, two-story farmhouse came into view.

Rodney wondered idly whose house this was as he climbed from the vehicle and followed Ronon up the steps to the front door. He took a deep breath, smelling the clean air, the smell of plant and animal life, and felt a sense of peace wash over him. Ronon didn't bother knocking before pushing the door open. The smell of unfamiliar Weres and the complex, layered smell of a lived-in home rushed out at him.

They stepped into a wide, airy living room. There were several couches and sofa chairs littered about the room, half full of Weres lounging. Their eyes immediately went to Rodney, a stranger in their midst, and he gave a tight smile in return. He thought he recognized a couple of people from the clearing his first night in town, but couldn't be sure.

He followed Ronon through the living room and down a hallway, passing several rooms with closed doors. Everything had a worn, homey look to it. When they entered the kitchen, there were several people inside - a good looking man with blue eyes and a dimpled smile, standing barefoot before a pot of boiling water; a young guy, with dark skin and a wide smile chopping vegetables; and seated at the huge table in the center of the room, a beautiful woman with a commanding presence. She looked at him calmly, and the air nearly crackled. Rodney's mouth went dry.

"Emissary," he greeted, bowing his head. She smiled kindly at him and gestured to the seat nearest her. Rodney glanced at Ronon, who smiled toothily and gave him a none too gentle shove deeper into the room. Rodney settled on the edge of the seat, ready to bolt at any moment. He had no idea what to expect - an emissary had far more important things to worry about than a lone wolf, or so Rodney had assumed.

"Would you like something to drink?" She offered, gesturing toward the huge fridge in the corner of the room. Before Rodney could refuse, Dimples set a cup of coffee before him, undoctored and smelling delicious. Rodney stuttered out his thanks and buried his nose in the cup.

"Teyla," Ronon greeted, lifting her straight out of the chair to swing her around and bring her in for a crushing, full body hug. Ronon pressed his face into Teyla's neck, scented her, and when he was satisfied he pulled away so she could do the same. They both beamed.

"All is well?"

"Indeed," Teyla responded. "I was able to conclude the business I was already in the middle of before you so carelessly dropped my latest job into my lap." She turned that bright smile on Rodney, who smiled back tentatively.

"I didn't think my request would be such a bother," Rodney said, watching as she retook her seat. Ronon settled into the chair across from Rodney. His large feet bumped into Rodney's, who hastily moved his own out of the way.

"You are no bother," Teyla said, blowing a lock of hair out of her face. "We do not get many requests such as yours, and our pack is filled with people who take pack protection very seriously."

What a diplomatic way of putting it, Rodney thought. He'd have labeled them paranoid. John's constant presence, meeting the Emissary...he was normally left _alone_. "I wouldn't have thought such a relatively small area would require so much, uh, proactive protection."

"We are a young pack," Teyla said. Her smile turned sharp, all white teeth and fine edges. "Some mistake youth for weakness."

"Idiots," Rodney offered, and Teyla's smile softened. Ronon smelled amused and Teyla approving. He relaxed a little after having said the right thing and took a big gulp of coffee. Despite the extra hoops he had to jump through to stay here, he'd also never felt so welcomed. Perhaps there was something to be said for small towns.

Teyla reached out and brushed her hand against Rodney's, drawing his attention back to her. She smiled. Her eyes were slitted now, the tips of her canines peeking just past the edge of her lips.

"We will not hurt you," she promised, and held out her hand. Rodney took it, the place where their skin touched tingling like a limb that had fallen asleep. She pulled him close, reaching out to grip his chin and angle his head. She peered deep into his eyes and Rodney realized what was happening just before the magic she wielded snapped into place.

Rodney had never been Soul Gazed before. He had expected it to feel more like an invasion, and less like an intimate experience. Teyla's soul felt like strength and loyalty. Rodney _knew_ her. Not her life experiences or the little things that made her into a whole, but the big things, like her integrity and determination. He knew she was not a person he wanted to cross, and not just because she wielded natural magic. She felt like comfort to him. Unease began to creep in, however, as Rodney remembered that just as he was seeing into her soul, she was seeing into his. Before his panic could peak, she pulled away and the connection broke.

Rodney blinked his eyes against the dryness and tried to remember to breathe. He took another sip of his coffee as he worked to regain his composure. Teyla, by comparison, looked completely at ease and not at all shaken by the experience they had just shared. She smiled again at Rodney, her lovely dark eyes kind. Rodney smiled back weakly and took a fortifying gulp of his coffee. Teyla turned to Ronon and tilted her head in a small, regal nod.

"Rodney has much to bring to the table," she said calmly. "And he means no harm."

"That's what I _said_ ," Rodney replied waspishly, but he knew that the same words coming from the pack emissary would mean more. Ronon slumped into his chair, any hint of aggressiveness gone.

"Good," was all he said.

Teyla turned back to Rodney. "Many of us are most curious about a lone wolf such as yourself. It is not a path many take."

Rodney rubbed his forehead with his left hand, the right still clutching his mug. "For good reason. Though I find it makes things...easier."

He was granted a knowing, slightly worried look. "I do not know what it is you run from, my friend, but if you wished -"

"No, thank you," Rodney cut in rudely. "Whatever it is you think you know, you don't. I'm fine. I prefer - I just want to be left alone." Rodney had never had a good experience as a member of a pack. He wasn't going down that road again, no matter how nice everyone appeared to be. Besides, it was their very niceness that made Rodney want to retreat. They didn't deserve the trouble he brought.

"I'm fine," he repeated, and ignored the skeptical looks on everyone's faces.  


-WoOoOo-

Ronon seemed content to hang out and without a ride home, Rodney had no choice but to settle in. Rodney chose an out of the way observation spot and found himself watching the various interactions. Everyone's reaction to Teyla's offer of assisting with food preparations - a polite but definite refusal - made Rodney chuckle. Dimples was in charge of the kitchen, with everyone doing as they were told, even Ronon. The cheerful young man was energetic and willing to help, but that enthusiasm sometimes led him astray, causing him to bump into people, get in their way, and be a general nuisance. To Rodney's shock, it was treated with a warm amusement, no yelling or hitting at all. It made Rodney uncomfortable. It was like nothing he'd seen before. How could he know what to expect? How could he know how to act? It was the kind of happy family you saw in movies. It was utterly outside of Rodney's experience.

"Let us introduce you to the others," Teyla said, and off they went, Rodney dragged along by his arm. Names and faces, scents and emotions, and there was no way Rodney was going to remember them all. It was a surprise to Rodney - mixed in with more than a little horror - when he was introduced to even the children.

"Yes, hello," he said weakly, and stared at Teyla and Ronon with his best pleading eyes until they rolled their eyes and took them away. Rodney slumped against the wall in relief.

"They can be a bit much," Dimples said, whose name Rodney had already forgotten. "They don't get to meet too many new people."

"How fortunate for them," Rodney sighed.

"If you hate meeting new people, you could always settle in someplace," Dimples said, tilting his head. He smiled, revealing his namesakes.

Rodney rolled his eyes, but didn't bother responding. Footsteps approached them and Rodney straightened up. Teyla popped her head around the corner, a lock of her hair falling across her forehead.

"Evan, things have gone wrong with the food," she said. Evan's eyes widened and he scooted around her, muttering something.

Teyla watched him go with a frown. Rodney hovered awkwardly at her side. With a sigh, she turned back to him, brushing the hair out of her face.

"My talents lie outside of the kitchen," she grinned. "And yet I refuse to give in gracefully."

"I'm not much of a cook myself, but I eat well," Rodney said, smiling back.

"Perhaps you would join us for dinner as well? We certainly make enough."

Rodney's smile slowly faded. "Uh, no. No, I don't think that'd be a good idea at all. Thank you."

Teyla shook her head, reaching out to him with one hand. "Rodney, I do not know what it is you fear -"

"That's right, you don't." Rodney took a step away from her. "I know my actions may seem - rude, and ungrateful, but I have very good reasons for - I - I would like to go home now."

"Rodney..." Teyla smelled distressed now. Rodney refused to feel guilty.

"If you refuse to take me home I'll simply walk." Rodney hadn't been paying attention to the route Ronon took on the way here, but how hard could it be? Rodney was an intelligent man, and he had his phone with its GPS.

"We do not mean to push you," Teyla said quietly. Firmly. "But Rodney, you do not realize it, but you always smell of fear and discomfort, and it is most distressing."

"Well, it's not like I'm forcing you to be in my company," Rodney snapped. "No, you just follow me around, and invite me to events, and - and have the pack emissary soul gaze me. You know, most people just let me do my own thing and ignore me! What is with you people?"

"We like you," Teyla said simply.

"You don't know me!" Rodney's voice was getting high pitched. All sound from the rest of the house had ceased. No conversation was truly private in a house full of Weres and certainly not one at this decibel level.

"We would like to."

" _Why_?"

"Uh, guys, everything okay? You're kind of freaking everyone out," John said. Rodney turned, keeping his back to the wall, startled. He hadn't sensed him approach. _You have to be better than that_ , Rodney berated himself. _You know better. J_ ohn leaned against the doorway that lead to the living room, eyebrows raised quizzically. Rodney felt a brief trickle of relief at seeing him, but squashed it down. John wasn't here to save him; he was part of the problem.

"Problem? There's no problem. I was just leaving."

"Hey, you don't have to," John slumped even further against the wall, legs crossed at the ankle. Though he wasn't a big man, he seemed to fill the doorway, blocking Rodney's route. His eyes met Rodney's. Rodney glanced the other way to find Teyla watching him unhappily.

"I- I think I should go," Rodney said, though despite himself his pitch went up at the end, like he was asking a question.

"Stay a while," John said firmly, and Rodney hesitated. He'd be gone in a couple months, but the people here had been kind, and he liked many of them. What would it hurt, he wondered, if he let himself pretend for a little while that he had friends?

"Fine," Rodney agreed. A pleased smile spread across John's face and he pushed off the doorway.

"Great!" he said, grasping Rodney's shoulder and giving him a little shake. Rodney smiled back, helplessly.

"Rodney..." Teyla said quietly. Rodney twisted to look at her. "Are you certain? I do not want you to feel pressured."

"Of course I'm certain," Rodney replied, "But on one condition: don't ask me about...things. About myself."

Teyla nodded, still looking at him with those sad eyes.

"Teyla?" John asked, his eyes sliding from Rodney's face to hers. "Ronon said everything was cool?"

"It is," she reassured him. "It is more for Rodney's sake that I worry."

"It's not that I'm against getting to know everyone," Rodney explained. "It's more that -"

"- everyone wants to get to know you, too," John finished for him.

"Nobody ever wanted to before!" Rodney complained, crossing his arms.

"Their loss," John said confidently, and Rodney blinked in surprise. Did John really think that getting to know Rodney would be a good thing for the pack? That was….well, not _entirely_ outside of Rodney's experience, but there was usually an unseen reason.

_He's being nice,_ a little voice said in Rodney's head. _Let him._

Confident now that Rodney was going to stay, John gestured for him to follow and led the way into the living room. As soon as John, Rodney, and Teyla came into view, everyone in the room relaxed. It seemed as though they had been freaking everyone out with their argument. John settled onto the couch next to the cheerful young man from the kitchen - Ford, Rodney thought his name was. Rodney eyed the couch, but before he could make a move toward it, Teyla smoothly settled in, smiling at him. With a sigh, Rodney took the last open seat - next to John.

There was silence for a moment before a good-looking kid, one arm wrapped around the man beside him, spoke up. "I hear the fair in Athos is going to be twice as big this year." Athos was the nearest city, a college town near the coast, and a popular spot with tourists.

"Gonna volunteer to help again?" Ford asked eagerly, and the young man nodded.

"Yeah, I think so," the man said, grinning. "I had a lot of fun last year."

"But this year he will not be running the kissing booth," the guy next to him said, nudging him sharply with his elbow.

"Aw, Stacks," the first kid whined.

"Stacks nothing, Alex."

"Too bad," Teyla said solemnly, a twinkle in her eye. "I was looking forward to that kiss."

Rodney found himself smiling at the teasing interplay. This was the stuff that books and movies were about. That camaraderie, that sense of family. Rodney wanted that. Familiar senses and a well-known home, with people he could trust.

John leaned close, his smile and presence invading Rodney's senses, sending his wistful thoughts scattering.

"Stackhouse and Markham just got together," he murmured into Rodney's ear. "They've been pining something awful."

"Hey!" Stackhouse and Markham protested in unison.

"No, he's right," Bates said, rolling his eyes. "It was annoying as fuck."

"Just because you're uninterested in finding your mate -"

"I'm not uninterested!" Bates snapped, sitting forward from his previous sprawl. He glared darkly. "I just don't think I should casually date if I'm just going to leave them as soon as I discover my mate. So I don't; with anybody."

"Just because a relationship ended badly once -"

"Enough," John said quietly, and everyone shut up.

"Everyone does things their own way and there's no shame in any of it," John said firmly. He still hadn't moved out of Rodney's personal space. "Some people believe they'll never meet their mate."

"It _is_ statistically unlikely," Rodney agreed. All eyes turned to him, and he squirmed a little. "What? I worked out the math when I was fifteen." No way would he admit to daydreaming about finding his true mate and being taken from his awful home.

"I believe that nature provides," Teyla broke in. She looked at Rodney with wise, knowing eyes. Rodney felt his skin prickle with the surety of her words. "It gives us true mates to ensure our happiness, and we find them when the time is right."

"Easy for you to say," another young man muttered. Rodney normally had problems keeping names and faces right in his head, but he was noticing just how ridiculous this pack was. Was everybody ridiculously good-looking and young? Was that a prerequisite for this pack? Though Radek was his age, as was John. Where was John getting these people?

Rodney shot a glance at John, who had leaned against the back of the couch and now had his arm stretched behind Rodney's back. He was making faces at the various turns of the conversations. He was extraordinarily good looking, but he had a face that was practically made of rubber, it could be twisted into so many expressions. Rodney could spend many years just watching him to catalogue them all...

He jolted abruptly in his seat, taken aback by his thoughts. _No_. As interesting as John Sheppard was, none of that was happening. When Ronon entered the room, Rodney purposely turned his attention to him, and not the man lounging so close to his side.

"Food's ready," Ronon grunted. There was a small stampede to be the first through the doorway, though Rodney noticed it was the children who returned first, carefully carrying their plates of food. When things calmed slightly, Rodney took his turn getting food, rubbing his grumbling stomach with one hand. John followed, bumping their shoulders companionably.  


-WoOoOo-

Rodney had thought that he'd be able to beg off after lunch; make up an excuse and escape back to normalcy. But nobody ever got around to taking him home, and truthfully, Rodney was having such a good time that he hadn't protested. Lunch had been a casual affair, but it seemed the pack took dinner more seriously. More people began to arrive as the afternoon wore on, and by the time 6pm rolled around, the house was full.

Rodney had been relieved by Radek's arrival, and more than happy to be taken aside to discuss their current project, the latest theories their so-called peers had published, and any topic they happened to stumble over. John swung by every now and then to put his two cents in, and every visit had been accompanied by a hand on Rodney's back, a bump on the shoulder. It made Rodney feel restless and almost giddy.

The farmhouse was located on acres of land, with a large backyard surrounded by forest. Four picnic tables were lined up just outside the backdoor, with a fifth picnic table set perpendicular to the rest, holding all the food. They'd set up lights around the area, mostly for the human members of the pack, creating a cozy setting. Rodney's nose tickled from the lamps set up to keep the mosquitos away, but otherwise he found himself impressed by the setup.

Rodney made sure to sit next to Radek, with whom he was most as ease and had common interests with. He wasn't at all surprised when John elbowed his way onto Rodney's other side, grinning charmingly at Simpson, who rolled her eyes. John smelled like the woods, and the faint hint of sweat, and Rodney imagined himself leaning over to press his nose to John's neck.

He picked up his knife and fork to cover his shiver.

"Oh my god, this is _so good_ ," he murmured as he ate. Jesus, who made this?

Radek and John only looked amused, watching with some awe as Rodney packed it away.

"What? I mostly eat fast food and frozen dinners. Not all of us have food like this -" Rodney gestured at their plates - "every night."

"You will join us again," Radek said. Rodney would normally protest such a command, but he wasn't crazy. He'd come back for the food alone!

The problem with having such a good time was that time slipped away from you. He'd noticed it getting dark, but a bonfire was started soon after, and there were s'mores, and a good-natured argument about Star Trek vs Star Wars, and by the time he started to think he should go home, people were yawning and stumbling toward the house. Some fumbled out of their clothes and transformed before settling into little puppy piles throughout the house.

"Um," Rodney said, uncertainly. He carefully edged around Grodin's snoring form. "Am I - what am I -"

"Relax," John yawned. He grabbed Rodney's sleeve between thumb and forefinger and gently pulled him up the stairs. "You can bunk with me."

"Oh, I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Rodney whispered. The stairs creaked under their feet, but nobody seemed to mind despite Rodney's wide eyed glances. "I've been told I'm not the best, uh, sleeping companion. So really, if I could just go home…"

"Rodney," John said calmly, patiently, still dragging Rodney through the house with ease by two fingers alone. "Either you share my bed, or you sleep on the floor."

"I have a bad back!" Rodney blurted.

"Bed it is," John nodded.

"But - with you? Both of us, in the same bed?"

John paused and gave him a long, searching look. Rodney fidgeted nervously, eyes darting down the hallway, back the way they came, over John's shoulder. John gave Rodney's sleeve a quick, little tug. When Rodney finally looked at him, John smiled. The corners of his eyes crinkled.

"I'll take the floor."

"Oh, but - I'd be kicking you out of your bed, right? That hardly seems fair."

John rolled his eyes. "I've slept in worse places." He stopped in front of a white door, pushing it open. It squeaked as it swung open, the noise making Rodney wince. His stomach tight with nerves, he followed John in. The room had an unused feel to it, though it was clean;sparsely decorated, with only a bed, a table, and a single wooden chair. The bed wasn't very large to Rodney's nervous eyes, and he was glad John had decided to sleep on the floor. He'd never be able to relax while John was so close.

When John striped his shorts off in one smooth move, Rodney felt a flush warm his face and spread down his neck. He jerked around to face the other way, which was just a wall with an alarming Johnny Cash poster on it. Seeking something else to focus on other than the rustling of clothing behind him, Rodney toed out of his shoes. He hesitated before taking his outer shirt off, but he'd be more comfortable without it. That done, he inched toward the bed, trying to keep his back turned to John, who was no doubt naked by now. Which he wasn't picturing at all. Oh god, he had to think of something else, or John would be able to smell him, and it'd be all over. Annoying lab assistants. Long lines at the grocery store.

_John_ , who still smelled good enough to lick.

Rodney hastily climbed into bed, settling on his stomach. He pulled the blankets up to his neck and then rested his arms at his side. The blankets were slightly musty smelling, but soft, and the bed was comfortable. Faded, just barely noticeable under the detergent, was the complex smell of John himself. People had top notes to their smell (like woods and sweat), the part easiest to smell. But beneath that was a unique, natural smell made up of a person's body chemistry. Humans couldn't smell it, and Rodney pitied them, he really did.

Rodney pressed his nose to the bed sheet and fell asleep with a smile curling his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

On Monday, Rodney stayed in the lab all day, forgoing lunch at the diner. Radek had looked disappointed, and more than a little disapproving, but he brought back a chicken wrap for Rodney anyway. The weekend had been fun. He'd stuck around the farmhouse Saturday night and most of Sunday, but on Monday couldn't bring himself to leave his lab. Thinking about doing so, about possibly running into someone he knew, made him twitchy.

He'd calmed down somewhat on Tuesday, though he didn't stop by the diner for breakfast and instead had hastily made toast. Radek hadn't mentioned Rodney holing up in the lab but had instead radiated disapproval all day. Given how pushy and involved the pack had been so far, Rodney was honestly surprised he'd been left alone for so long.

It was no surprise, therefore, when Ford burst into the labs with a wide smile and announced that they were going on a picnic.

"Excuse me?" Rodney gaped. "How did you even get in here?"

"I work security here," Ford replied easily and bounced in place. "Get your things!"

"What? Security? No-" Rodney started, but Radek was already shutting his computer down. "Hey!"

"It's lunchtime," Simpson said flatly. "We need food."

Rodney's stomach growled loudly enough that even Simpson, who was now by the door, turned to stare. He rubbed his belly with one hand and thought about the toast from this morning, the protein bars in a drawer in his desk. He thought about going outside, into the sun and breeze. _Why bother fighting it?_ Rodney wondered. They'd drag him out there anyway, and he wanted to go.

"Do we need to bring anything?" Rodney asked, and ignored Radek's shocked face and Ford's excitement.

"Just your appetites!" Ford said, backing toward the door. Rodney rolled his eyes and shut his laptop screen. He huffed at Radek's over-exaggerated shock and followed Ford out the door, shutting it behind him.

The park they chose wasn't far from the labs. Four giant blankets had been spread out over the grass and people were carrying baskets and bags to and from the cars parked nearby. Rodney was surprised when a basket full of napkins, plates, and silverware was unceremoniously shoved into his hands by - Stackhouse, he thought. Possibly Stackhouse winked at Rodney and turned back to the car to haul who knows what over to the area claimed by the pack.

A collection of mismatched baskets were being set in a rough circle in the middle of the blankets. Rodney stepped onto the blanket to drop his basket off with the rest when one of the children of the pack shrieked behind him. His basket dropped from nerveless fingers as he spun around, heart pounding in his chest. But the child was laughing, her screams were of joy, not pain or fear. Rodney took a step back, one hand pressed to his chest. The back of his heel hit the basket and he wobbled. He tried to regain his balance, but the best he could do was twist himself mid-air to land beside the overturned basket and not on it.

Rodney lay there waiting for the rush of pain. It'd be so easy to land wrong and break a bone, which he knew from experience was painful. Even with werewolf powers speeding the healing process up, it took forever to heal a broken bone.

"Rodney, are you okay?" John asked, one hand resting on his shoulder. Rodney opened his eyes. He was fine, it was fine.

"Oh," he said, turning to look at the basket he'd dropped. Rodney flushed, heat spreading over his cheeks and down his neck. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

John didn't even glance at the overturned basket, with the napkins fluttering in the gentle breeze, some already drifting away from the group. "Rodney, are you hurt?"

"No," Rodney said, gathering the silverware and napkins and stuffing them back into the basket. "I'm fine. I don't think I even bruised. But the basket - I'll get everything back, I promise."

John rolled his eyes. "Rodney, we're werewolves. Like we're going to object to eating with our hands if we have to."

Rodney opened his mouth to object - he _hated_ eating with his hands. He hated when they felt dirty and sticky. But if they weren't going to get angry with him for spilling their things all over the ground, then who was he to argue? He shouldn't push. He could always wash his hands later - in fact, he might have some hand sanitizer back at his desk…

Not all of the silverware had fallen out, which made Rodney feel somewhat better. By the time everyone had settled on a section of blanket and the food was being passed around, any tension Rodney had held was gone. He lifted his face to the sun, listened to John and Ronon and the others talk about movies he'd never seen, and just let himself enjoy the moment. The wind was bringing interesting scents his way - wild animals, flowers, other people enjoying the nice day, and the various foods people brought with them.

Radek gently elbowed him in the side, startling Rodney.

"Is good we came, yes?"

"Yes, yes," Rodney said briskly. He sent a surreptitious glance John's way. "I'm having a surprisingly good time."

"Hmm…" Radek said, grinning at Rodney.

"What?"

"Nothing. Are you going to eat that?" Radek asked, pointing at a pile of chips left on Rodney's place. He reached out to grab one, and Rodney squawked, jerking the plate out of Radek's reach.

"Stingy," Radek said, pouting.

"Grabby," Rodney retorted as he shoved a bunch of the chips in his mouth. Radek chuckled.

Their antics had grabbed John's attention. He reached out and plucked a chip off Rodney's plate and tossed it into his mouth before Rodney could protest.

"Oh my god, what - there's plenty of chips for everyone!" Rodney hunched over his plate protectively, glaring at those closest to him. He shoved the rest of the pile of chips into his mouth. "Get yo' own."

Radek wrinkled his nose at the sight of the half-chewed chips, but everyone else was laughing. Rodney ducked his head, lips curling into a smile. He played with a loose thread of the blanket until John bumped Rodney's shoulder with his own. When Rodney looked up, John raised an inquiring eyebrow. Rodney shrugged, smiling back at him. John's wide, bright smile in return was a beautiful thing.  
  


**-WoOoOo-**

Despite the friendly welcome they have given him so far, Rodney didn't want to overstay his welcome. More than that, he'd made a promise, back when he first arrived, that he wouldn't be sticking his nose in pack business. So while he never made any overtures, that didn't mean he wasn't dragged out to an event, or invited to a get-together.

This, Rodney imagined, was what having friends was like.

Rodney would probably - hesitantly, and only to himself - admit that John was the first friend he'd made, with Radek a very close second. Having two friends after a lifetime of none was surprising enough, but it seemed this pack was made of more patient stuff. Radek made sure to introduce him to Miko Kusanagi, whom Rodney vaguely recalled from the labs, and Carson Beckett, who Rodney had never seen before, during a movie marathon one night at Radek's place.

"I was off visiting my mum," Carson explained, smiling kindly. "But I've heard all about you."

"God," Rodney replied. He rubbed the tip of his thumb against the tip of his forefinger. "I don't want to know what's being said."

"All good things," Carson said reassuringly, his accent light and pleasant to listen to.

"Well," Rodney said, surprised. "That's - good."

"Mmhmm," Carson grinned.

"And what is it that you do?" Rodney asked, finally landing on a topic to chat about. He normally abhorred small talk, but he could fake it passably. Besides, Miko and Radek would be back soon with the popcorn and soda. Then the movie would start, and he'd be safe from this hell.

"I'm a doctor," Carson beamed. "I look after the pack, inoculate the wee ones. I have a small practice in town."

Rodney didn't know what to say to that. He'd never had a good experience with a medical doctor, and shouting _WITCH DOCTOR_ probably wouldn't endear himself to anyone. He edged away from Carson, who appeared oblivious.

"How did you end up here of all places?" Rodney wanted to know. Small town America was as far as you could get from Scotland. Perhaps Carson had come here to work for Atlantis Research just as Rodney had.

"Such a story, that is. We don't quite have time for it now, but I'd be happy to tell you some other time."

"Sure," Rodney agreed, nodding. Was he nodding too much? He forced himself to stop. They stood there awkwardly for a few minutes while Rodney searched for something to talk about. If only he had his tablet with him, he could ignore the heavy silence.

"We are here!" Radek called out. Miko elbowed the door open, her arms full of popcorn and chips and various snacks. Radek slipped through the door before it closed again, struggling with his armful of drinks. Carson hurried to help relieve him of his load. Miko dumped her goodies on the table in front of the couch. She blinked owlishly at Rodney from behind her large glasses.

"Good choices," Rodney nodded toward the stuff on the table. Miko smiled.

"I like having a variety to choose from," she said quietly.

"I haven't had some of these in so long. How did you get these?" He hadn't seen some of these outside Canada before.

"I have my ways," she said mysteriously. Rodney beamed at her, bouncing on the tips of his toes.

"Everything is well, yes?" Radek asked while everyone poured their drinks, selected their snacks, and chose where they were sitting for the marathon.

"Everything is fine," Rodney said quickly, almost snappishly. Feeling guilty, he softened his tone, "It's fine. I'm just not good with - with - people in general. As I'm sure you've noticed."

Radek examined him for a moment, blue eyes serious. "Carson is good man. A good doctor."

"Witch doctor," Rodney muttered petulantly. The corner of Radek's mouth ticked up in a tiny smile.

Radek, Miko, and Carson were settled on the couch, sitting pressed against one another. Rodney pretended not to see when they leaned over to press their noses against Carson's neck. He ignored the small space they left, just large enough to fit him, and concentrated on the first of many science fiction movies. By the end of the first movie, the three of them were sprawled all over each other, and Rodney was curled up uncomfortably on the chair, a little cold - a lot lonely.

They discussed the merits of various science fiction television shows, argued over who was the best character overall in Star Trek and arranged a trade of modern science fiction novels. There was something so freeing about being around people who shared the same interests. Rodney felt more himself during the sci-fi marathon than he had in ages. He was truly disappointed when everyone began to yawn long before they'd made much of a dent in their watch list.

"Perhaps we should stop here for now," Miko suggested sleepily. She nuzzled Radek's shoulder and sighed.

"Yeah," Rodney mumbled. "I should be getting home."

"You're welcome to stay here for the night," Radek offered. "We can make up the couch for you."

"My back would _kill_ me," Rodney protested, but it was half-hearted at best. He was so tired…

"Better than walking home alone."

"I'm a Were, like anything is going to attack me," Rodney snorted.

"Do you really want to go outside in the chill?" Carson asked. He was blinking rapidly and struggling to untangle himself from the other two.

Rodney hesitated. He _was_ tired and it was definitely chilly outside. He didn't feel like getting his shoes on and trudging home - but would he really get any sleep here, among these unknown Weres? He liked them all well enough, but to let down his guard…

"Fine," Rodney replied. He paused, surprised at himself. He had meant to politely decline, but it seemed his subconscious mind had other plans. He watched as Miko and Carson finally succeeded in untangling themselves from each other and Radek. Miko hurried off to find spare sheets, blankets, and pillows for the couch, while Carson began gathering empty mugs and snack bags. Belatedly, Rodney stood to help him.

"I will get you some bedclothes," Radek offered.

"Are you going to have anything that can fit me?" Rodney furrowed his brow. He was taller and broader than Radek…

Radek shook his head, laughing. "Rodney, this is not the first time I have had people stay over. I have clothes of various sizes for any pack member to sleep here."

Rodney felt very stupid to have not thought of that. Of course this pack was close enough to have sleepovers and puppy piles - to use the mildly offensive human phrase. He'd experienced their lack of personal space first hand. So Rodney nodded and gladly accepted the bundle of clothing Radek handed to him a few minutes later. He slipped from the room, leaving the others to finish cleaning up.

The tile of the bathroom was cold against his feet. He finished using the toilet, washed his hands, and quickly changed into the borrowed clothes before he could talk himself out of it. They were a little tight. Rodney could sleep in them well enough, but if Radek had clothes for all pack members, why didn't he give him something bigger?

Shrugging it off as unimportant, Rodney returned to the living room to find his bed already made up. His friends - Rodney twitched at the thought - turned as one when he entered the room.

"Radek!" Miko giggled. Carson was smiling a secretive smile.

Radek turned wide, playfully confused eyes onto Miko. "What is problem?"

She gestured at Rodney.

"Uh," Rodney said, uncomfortably.

Radek tilted his head. He must have communicated something to the other two, somehow, because their eyes went wide. Carson and Miko turned to beam at Rodney, who took an alarmed step back when they rushed over to him. Miko yanked his head down to press a delighted kiss to Rodney's cheek. Carson hugged him from behind. It was overwhelming,confusing as hell, and pleasant.

"Those are John's clothes," Miko explained.

"Oh? Should I not be wearing them?" Rodney plucked at the neck of the worn t-shirt. Now that he was in it, he didn't want to change.

"Oh, he won't mind," Carson winked.

"Uh? Good?" Rodney looked between the two of them. He sent Radek a pleading look.

"Time for bed," Radek announced, saving Rodney from the two crazy Weres. "Sleep well, Rodney. Wake us if you need anything. Do not sneak out tomorrow morning."

Rodney, who had been planning to do just that, started. "Well, I, I was going to head home, take a shower, get ready for work…"

"We will drive you. But you must taste Miko's breakfast meal first."

"I guess I could stay for food," Rodney said.

"We must remember to have you bring a spare set of clothes over…" Radek said thoughtfully. Rodney almost protested, but if they were going to have another science fiction marathon, it might be for the best. Rodney rubbed a hand over his belly, John's shirt soft against his skin.

Then again…  
  


**-WoOoOo-**

Rodney may still have been left with some nights to himself during the week, but he had started to spend his entire weekend at the farmhouse with most, if not all, of the pack. He was ashamed to admit that it took three weekends in a row before he became aware of what they were doing, but he never spoke up. Wolves and humans were social creatures, after all. Rodney had finally been given a room of his own to stay in, and some of his less important personal items were slowly migrating their way over. His own smell mixed in with the smell of the farmhouse was pleasant. After the fifth weekend he spent there, it began to feel more like home than his own apartment did.

Rodney tried not to think too hard about that. Or about the future. He was burying his head in the sand.

The Atlantis pack was very fond of communal dinners. Breakfast and lunch was usually a casual affair, with people making food as and when they were hungry, but dinner was a different story. Everyone made a point of gathering for dinner. It was a nice little tradition that seemed to keep everyone in touch with each other.

What wasn't so nice was the children. Rodney didn't know what to _do_ with them. He'd never been around babies or little kids before and it made him feel incredibly awkward - uncertain how to talk to them, how to touch them. Picking them up and holding them seemed like a minefield of rules. Kids were fragile. They were loud. They were dirty.

The simplest option Rodney could figure was to treat the older kids - who could at least communicate in some manner, unlike the babies - as if they were adults with limited life experience. Be honest, talk to them with as much solemnity as he could manage, and refrain from insulting their intelligence lest he get his throat ripped out by an offended mother. It wasn't easy but It seemed to make them _like_ Rodney, which brought on a different kind of horror.

Dinner was served outside, weather permitting. It meant the kids could play under adult supervision while everyone set the table, transferred the food from the kitchen, and hung up the lights. It also meant the kids could get absolutely dirty playing in the grass. They always seemed to wait until they were covered in dirt and grass, with sticks in their hair, before swarming Rodney. Babbling questions, tugging on his pants and shirt, shrieking, laughing, overwhelming Rodney with the sheer noise and quick movements.

He wasn't a bit ashamed to admit he sent pleading, terrified looks to anyone who passed by.

It rained one Saturday, a month and a half after he'd first arrived. The weather report hadn't called for rain until the next morning, so they'd set out the placemats, hung the lights, and were moving the food out when it began to sprinkle. Everyone scrambled. Parents began herding their kids inside while the other adults began dismantling everything. Rodney had to peel a little monster off his leg, their dirty hands leaving streaks on his clothing. He slipped while carrying an armful of glass plates. He managed to catch himself without breaking anything, but his clothes were absolutely filthy.

There was a rush as everyone hurried off to change into dry clothes, then meet back up in the enormous living room. Pillows, cushions, bean bag chairs, and the prone bodies of the pack filled the room until the floor could barely be seen.

Radek had settled on one of the loveseats, an empty space beside him. He gestured for Rodney to join him, and Rodney felt a warm glow fill his chest at the idea of someone saving him a seat. Instead of taking him up on the offer, Rodney gestured to his clothes and then pointed at the ceiling.

"Shower," he mouthed.

Radek nodded his understanding, settling back into the cushion and turning his attention to the television. Rodney snuck away to shower and change. He had been given one of the few rooms with its own bathroom, no doubt in deference to the privacy he aggressively guarded. He stripped as soon as he was through his bedroom door, leaving a trail of clothes to the bathroom. The water was gloriously hot, his skin quickly turning pink under the water. It felt so good in there he almost didn't want to get out. It was only when his stomach began to growl that he reluctantly shut the water off.

He took his time drying off since he hated the feeling of clothes sticking to his wet skin. He hung his towel over the bar on the wall and stepped out of the bathroom, the steam following him out.

He froze.

John froze.

They stared at one another in silence. Rodney wished he could disappear into the floor, or erase the last minute. It was far too late to try and preserve any modesty - not that wolves had much to begin with. It wasn't that his dick was out in the open for John to see that was bothering him. He had bigger concerns than that. Breathing deeply, he hunched his shoulders, trying to hide even though he'd already been seen.

"What happened?" John asked quietly. Rodney could almost hear the growl behind the words. If this were a stupid Hollywood movie, John's eyes would be turning an unnatural red or blue. "Who did that to you?"

Rodney dropped his gaze to the floor in front of him. He said nothing.

"Rodney," John choked out, sounding furious. His voice trembled. Rodney imagined he was holding onto his human form through sheer force of will. " _Who did that to you?_ "

Rodney tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck. His entire body began to shake. He swallowed the words back, and said instead, honestly, "I don't want to tell you."

John rubbed his face roughly. He breathed in through his nose, and out through his mouth. "I've never seen anything like that."

Rodney shrugged his scarred shoulders. He was just grateful that John hadn't seen his back, that he seemed to be calming down, backing off -

"Turn around."

-or maybe not.

"John," Rodney said quietly, begging.

"Rodney," John replied. His brow was furrowed over worried, pleading eyes. It was a face Rodney couldn't possibly say no to. He turned around. John sucked in a sharp, loud breath. Rodney wanted to explain, the words bubbling up, crowding on his tongue. But John's eyes on his exposed skin was locking his jaw and freezing his lips. He didn't know how to explain away the criss-cross of scars on his back.

"Jesus Christ," John whispered.

"It doesn't -" mean anything, "-really hurt. Or effect my range of motion. I'm _fine._ "

"If you give me a name," John growled, "I swear to you - I promise you -"

"Leave it," Rodney said, feeling tired. He was so tired of fighting. Of being afraid. He wanted to go back downstairs where the pack was eating dinner and watching a movie. He wanted to sit next to John and smell him all night and feel like he was a part of something greater. Rodney didn't want to feel embarrassed and scared and shaky. He'd done enough of that in the past.

There was another long pause. John studied him, eyes intent, and finally sighed heavily. He nodded. He took a step closer to Rodney and leaned in. "When you're ready, you know you can talk to me."

Rodney gave a barely perceptible nod.

John reached up and squeezed the back of Rodney's neck, his hand warm and gentle. Then he was gone, only his smell lingering.

When Rodney finally gathered the courage to head back downstairs, nobody looked at him. It wasn't in that deliberate, knowing way - more that they were focused on the movie, on their own conversations. It made Rodney relax. John hadn't said anything. Rodney had forgotten to ask him not to, but it seemed like he didn't have to. settled in the empty space next to Radek. When he met John's eyes, he surprised himself by sending a small smile John's way and was even more pleased by the sweet, understated smile he got in return.


End file.
